Sophie Myra Margaret Perfitt

Sophie was born at nearly 22 weeks duration on the 30 March 2004 in North Tees Hospital. Sophie’s life was so brief, she fought bravely for just a few hours, but the love that she left behind is a whole life times worth. I know in my heart that she will be a most treasured little angel in heaven, watched over by all those who have gone before her and I know she is being cradled in the loving arms of god.

SOPHIE

She is our angel so sweet and so small,
chosen by god to watch over us all.
Often we’ll think of her tiny face,
radiant and peaceful in her state of grace.


We all love you Sophie and we miss you so much, so goodnight and god bless you, sleep in peace my little angel.



TO OUR BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER, SOPHIE

This is a diary written for you by mummy and daddy. We love you and miss you very much. You will be in our hearts forever.
The day we found out we were expecting you are still fresh in our minds. I rang your daddy as soon as I found out and he was so happy. I was at Sue’s house using her phone because we didn’t have one. Sue is one of mummy’s closest friends, and we later chose her to be your Godmother.
When daddy came home from work we sat down and told your brother, James and your sister, Rachael that they would soon have a little sister or brother. They were so happy and very excited. As were the rest of your family when we told them. I will tell you about them all later on.
The next few weeks were very hard for me because I was so ill with morning sickness that lasted all day. I couldn’t eat much at all and was very worried. At about 5 weeks I started to bleed. I went to hospital to have a scan, where I saw you for the first time. You were ok…could see your tiny little heartbeat. I was so relieved.
At 13 weeks I was still bleeding very heavy and was very poorly. I was sent to hospital for an emergency scan. You were still ok, but they found that the placenta had split from the uterus wall. I was admitted for two nights were I had a blood transfusion.
Over the next few weeks I was still bleeding but not as heavy. On 19th March things went from bad to worse. I had a very heavy bleed on the way home from town. James and Rachael were with me. James was so brave; he held my hand until we got to the hairdressers, where I knew your Grandma would be. I ended up in hospital again. I was there for two days when they said I could come home. I was told to take things very easy. They said if I could get past 23 to 24 weeks they would be able to help you if you were born.
Then on the night of 23rd March I had another very heavy bleed whilst I was asleep. Your daddy took me to hospital, while Grandma Margaret looked after James and Rachael. Whilst I was in hospital your Daddy had to take time off work. His boss made it clear that he shouldn’t really be taking time off without permission…but this was an emergency. I left hospital after 2 days. Granddad Dennis arranged to take the next week off work to help me. Grandma Diane was going to come the next week to help me.
Then on the night of 29th March I started having contractions. I knew in my heart that I was going to lose you. I didn’t want to go to hospital again so I had a bath and tried to get some sleep. The morning of 30th March came and I was still having contractions but not as regular as they were. I called Sheila, my community midwife and she came to assess me. She could feel the contractions and booked me in to the labour suite. When me and daddy got to the hospital a midwife called Sarah looked after us. The consultant came and examined me and found I was 2cm dilated. They left me and daddy alone to talk and cry. We held each other and cried for ages. They moved me into another room, where we had a view of the church across the road. I had a nice warm bath while daddy went and got some of my things and told your family that you were on your way. Sarah had to go home so a wonderful midwife called Barbara took over my care. Daddy came back and by that time the contractions were regular so I was offered some gas and air. I was put on a drip of antibiotics to get rid of any infection. At around 7pm asked the midwife to phone your Grandma Margaret and ask her to come and be with me and daddy. The pain was getting worse and I wasn’t getting a break between contractions, so Barbara asked me if I wanted an injection of morphine. It was too late sweetheart you were nearly born. You came out bum first. I cried and cried. Barbara said you were still alive. I couldn’t believe it. She wrapped you up and passed you to me. God you were so beautiful Sophie. Daddy took my finger and placed it on your heart. It was beating so fast. Then daddy held you. We arranged for the Chaplin to come and baptize you. Grandma Margaret phoned Granddad Dennis and let him know you were here. He came to see you with Uncle Stuart and Great Auntie Julie. The hospital Chaplin, David, came and baptized you. He gently kissed you and held your hand. You were slowly slipping away darling. He prayed for us and your family. He named your godparents as Susan Patterson and Christopher Winn. He left us to be alone with your Grandma Margaret and Granddad Dennis, Uncle Stuart and Great Auntie Julie. Julie took her wedding ring off and placed it on your wrist. She took Stuart and Granddad home. At 11.45, two and a half hours after you were born, you died in your daddy’s arms.
After spending the night with you in the family room, we left you and came home. That was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I hurt so much to walk away from you. We drove home and prepared to tell James and Rachael. Daddy sat them both on his knee and told them that mummy had given birth to their baby sister Sophie and that you had died and gone to heaven. James cried his little heart out, and Rachael hugged daddy.

On the 2nd April, your Grandma Diane came to stay with us for a week. We took her to the hospital and came to see you. Barbara was working on the labour suite and she brought you to us. She placed you in my arms. I held you for a while and then give you to Grandma Diane. She rocked you in her arms and kissed you gently. Daddy and Grandma Margaret held you and then we left you with Barbara and came home. We came to see you again the next day with Granddad Dennis and Grandma Diane. Granddad held you for the first time and cried. It was so hard to leave you again sweetheart.

We received lots of nice cards from family and friends. We arranged your funeral for Wednesday 7th April. You were taken to the chapel of rest the day before. We bought you some clothes for you to be dressed. We came to see you on the morning and we held you one last time. James and Rachael both held you. Me and daddy were so proud of them. I took my engagement ring off and placed it in your right hand. Granddad Dennis gave you his wedding ring and his favourite stamp. Daddy gave you his identity bracelet. Grandma Margaret gave you her cross broach. Grandma Diane gave you a guardian angel. Uncle Stuart and Auntie Caroline bought you a silver bangle with your name on it, and Stuart took his ring off and left it with you. Uncle Michael also gave you his ring. James and Rachael left you a teddy with your name on it, and Auntie Julie gave you an angel stone to help you on your way.

Your funeral was so perfect. Daddy carried you one last time to your final resting place. Lots of your family were there, as well as your two god parents, Sue and Chris. The hospital Chaplin, David held the service, where he prayed for you and your family, and godparents. He also prayed for Barbara, your midwife.

We miss you so much Sophie, till we meet again sweetheart.

Lots of love from Mummy & Daddy